For years, I have searched for the secrets to living a balanced life. I’ve attended workshops & seminars, listened to podcasts, read books & articles and even facilitated the topic myself. All this time, I went through periods of frustration, peace, joy, anger, being overwhelmed, feeling like a conqueror & also facing disappointment. It has been a journey filled with highs, lows, twists & turns.

As a leader with significant responsibilities at work, commitment at my church, a budding entrepreneur & someone dedicated to having a healthy marriage - I had been doing the flexibility dance all along. But why didn't I know I had this figured out already? The problem was my unrealistic expectations. Frustration didn’t come from failure, what I struggled with was my own unmet expectations. Once I changed my mind & adjusted my priorities things fell into place.

My job had become all consuming. Not just overwhelming, but my life was swallowed by my job like Jonah was in the belly of the fish. The moment I decided that my job had too much space & I adjusted the boundaries, things became more manageable. About the same time, I was faced with a personal crisis that demanded immediate attention & was not going away. Once I communicated those needs to my colleagues, the boundaries almost seemed to adjust themselves. Let's be clear...adjusting your boundaries does not mean ignoring the non-negotiables that keep you safe, sane or healthy. I’m talking about flexibility that doesn’t cause damage. The flexibility is what made me realize that I had figured it all out!  So here is what I learned:

Know where you are in life and communicate that to your support system - When they know where you are and what’s going on with you, people feel less neglected and have less demands of you.

Know when to say you need help and who to say it to - Strong people don’t get much help when they always look so perfect. Wave the white flag to the people that can offer the support you need.

Listen to your body - You need rest and you have to disconnect from time to time. Do what’s necessary to recharge and don’t waste energy on what doesn’t replenish you.

Listen to the rhythm of your responsibilities - It’s important to know what is most important and when it is most important. Everything in your life isn’t always top priority. Summers and weekends are very important to my husband but during playoff seasons and football he is pretty self-sufficient and usually not focused on what I’m doing. Needs change for everything on the planet and change is necessary.

Listen to what feeds your soul - You know what makes your heart smile and soul happy. It’s important to stick to what brings happiness to you, allows you to enrich others and inspires you to contribute to a greater good.